Be Still My Soul

When you learn that you have a chronic disease, what is the first question that you ask? Is it fatal?

These are the first answers to our search.

• Somewhere we read there was a 2 to 5 year life span. Haven’t been able to find it again at this writing. I’m glad because that is just too scary and I have since found out much better news.
• The 5-year survival rate associated with relapsingpolychondritis has been reported to be 66-74% (45% if relapsing polychondritis occurs with systemic vasculitis).  From Medscape
• Relapsingpolychondritis is potentially dangerous and even life threatening, depending on the tissues involved. Inflammation of the cartilage of the windpipe (trachea), heart, aorta, and other blood vessels can be fatal. From  Medicinenet.com

We read the worst and snuggled together while my heart broke, my world crumbling. Dreams of what we had planned for our future were vastly disappearing. I selfishly had my own pity party not to think about what my dear husband was going through as he held me comfortingly. My thoughts jumped from my grandchildren born and yet unborn, our future travels, the sweet companionship we share, my histories not written, quilts still to be made on and on my brain focusing on the worst. I thought, if something happens to me, who will watch over and take care of my eternal companion? Even though he had been saddled with nearly all of the watching over and care giving for over a year.  

Then after a considerable time of feeling sorry for myself, I thought about how grateful I felt for this dear man of mine. Out of this bleak, sinking heart of mine, I could feel the blooming start and getting stronger growth of gratitude for his support. It has always been there, but it was masked for a minute.  I needed to come back out of my wallowing  If anything, my husband deserved better than this. I have a favorite song and I listened to it to still my soul. I love how David Archuleta sings to the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square The lyrics were written by a German Woman inspired by Psalms 46:10, “Be still my soul.”

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Throughout my life there have quite naturally been trials. I’ve always been happy despite all of them. A favorite quote about that is one of my own. Now was time to practice what I preach.

"When you can’t change your circumstances

you can decide whether you are going to be

‘under the circumstances’, or on top of them.

 I choose to be on top of the circumstances"

-:- Debbie Edward -:-